Words cannot express how wonderful the past five months have been. They have been filled with an unimaginable love, laughter, tears, sleeplessness, overwhelming joy, fun, learning, and growing. God has given us an absolutely precious little girl, but also so much more. Since Cameryn was born Josh and I have been able to feel this amazing, unimaginable love. I've said it before but, you just can't know this feeling unless you have a child, plain and simple. I think it is the closest thing that a human being can feel to the way God feels for us, and in knowing that you realize what an awesome God we serve. It has really opened my eyes and made me even more thankful to my Lord and Savior.
We've also had tons of laughs around here since little Camy came into the picture. From saying, "Heeellllllooooo" and her giggling each and every time for almost fifteen minutes to the time we were in tears laughing when Josh said I was hooked up to the pasturizer when I was pumping breast milk. You never know what will happen next. Having a baby really makes you take yourself a lot less serious and find the humor in almost everything. I'm sure there are times she must be thinking, "These people are nuts!" but we are taking in the joy of every moment with her. And as my mother told me about a million times, she'll understand when she has kids of her own.
The tears and sleeplessness are but a small price to pay for all the good Cameryn has brought to our lives. And, I must say that especially in the beginning, more of the tears were mine and they were of joy. Josh even shed a few himself. I think you have to go through the sleeplessness to really understand the sacrifices your parents made for you, and to know that everyone does have "survival mode" and you can get through a lot more than you think. I am one person who LOVES sleep. We have the most comfortable bed in the world, and laying in that big pile of pillows and soft sheets ranks right up there with shopping for me. But like I said, the good far outweighs the bad, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. (Note; I don't plan on doing it again for awhile!)
Joy is a word that once you experience "joy", you know it is the perfect word to describe how you feel, and that no other word will work in it's place. I really love that about "joy". I do have an English degree so loving words may seem strange to most, but where I come from it's normal (I swear!) Anyway, the level of joy and fun in our home was at a good level before Camy came along, but with her it is just through the roof. Not to say we don't have rough days. Any mom reading this knows that it's not all smiles and politeness when you have kids, but they also know that fun is so much more fun when you get to see and do things through the eyes of your child. Cameryn in only five months old but it is so funny to watch her study things, and grab for the dogs when they walk by. I wonder if she thinks these are her much uglier brother and sister or if she thinks they are her toys to be explored and chewed on.
And lastly, the learning and growing that Cameryn has inspired in me is tremendous. From reading every book, magazine, or internet post on pregnancy and babies to figuring out that if the seat on her stroller goes back to far it will not fold up. This one I was stumped by when I took Camy and my sister Jessie downtown and got so frustrated that I just put the whole, unfolded stroller in the back of my SUV. Lord only knows what I would have done if I had a little car! Not only have I been learning about being a mom and about what my daughter likes and dislikes, I've also learned a lot about myself and my childhood. I'm a lot more capable than I thought, yet I'm also a lot more vulnerable than I thought. Having Camy has made me closer to God, and I'm so thankful for that. For one, I need to be a good example for her, and for two, having a child shows you how much you need Him. You need His strength to put your fears at ease and His guidance to make good decisions. As far as growing, if you've been following our blog you can see Camy has done a lot of that. The pictures I posted above are of Cameryn's very first picture when she was born, some silly ones over the past few months, and the two in the middle are of her yesterday when she turned Five Months Old!
No comments:
Post a Comment